


Up Against My Heartbeat

by fits_in_frames



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cunnilingus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Porn with Feelings, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fits_in_frames/pseuds/fits_in_frames
Summary: "She's had bad dreams like this since she was a child--dreams of running, of being tortured, of falling--but she's never been in bed with someone else when it happens, let alonetwosomeones. She's not sure if the panic she feels is because of the dream, or because of what she did to Finn, or both."
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	Up Against My Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> _if she's your only one_  
>  _then she is also mine_  
>  _just pin your heartbeat up against my heartbeat_  
>  _and you'll see how well we rhyme_  
>  {josh ritter // bright smile}
> 
> -
> 
> This has been percolating in my brain since I saw TFA, and it felt like the sequel trilogy ending finally gave me permission to let it out. One minor spoiler for TROS, but only mentioned in passing. This is my first Star Wars fic in nearly 14 years, please be gentle...
> 
> Beta-read by my darling [captainvonchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainvonchan) <3

Rey wakes up, in the dark. She bolts upright, heart racing, trying to remember and forget her nightmare at the same time. She can still feel it, the texture of it, in the center of her chest.

Something touches her elbow and she reflexively snaps her hand backwards. There's a pained sound beside her, and then she remembers where she fell asleep a few hours ago. She turns, and Finn looks back at her with wide, confused eyes, one hand on his face. Poe, next to him, stirs slightly but before he can open his eyes, she launches herself out of the bed.

She sits outside the door, knees drawn up to her chest. Sweat trickles down her back, and she's having a hard time catching her breath. She's had bad dreams like this since she was a child--dreams of running, of being tortured, of falling--but she's never been in bed with someone else when it happens, let alone _two_ someones. She's not sure if the panic she feels is because of the dream, or because of what she did to Finn, or both.

A very sleepy, very concerned Poe eventually exits the bedroom. She looks up at him for a moment, and then turns her attention back to the wall in front of her.

He gets down on the floor next to her, close enough that she can feel his body heat, but not so close that she feels boxed in. "I guess 'are you okay' is a stupid question," he says, looking straight ahead, towards the same patch of wall. Then, after she doesn't respond, "What do you need?"

"To be alone," she says, sounding as shaky as she feels

"Okay," Poe says, and stands up.

She reaches out and touches his leg. His skin is warm. "Tell him I'm sorry."

"You can tell him yourself, tomorrow." He sounds slightly exasperated. He didn't sign up to be a messenger boy when the three of them decided to be...whatever it is they are.

So she explains, unfolding her body a bit. "It's just--I'm not used to waking up next to anyone after a nightmare like that. I didn't do it on purpose." She looks up, feeling a bit stronger. "I'm going to sleep in my old quarters for the rest of tonight. He needs to know it wasn't his fault. Please."

Poe no longer looks annoyed. He gives her a small smile and a nod: he understands.

She stands up, places her hand over his heart, and kisses his cheek. His ears go slightly pink, and he re-enters the room.

She can hear Finn murmuring, and finds his voice very comforting even from a distance. But she can't face him right now, so she moves as quickly as she can down the hallway.

\--

Her old quarters are exactly as she left them before she went to Tatooine: dark, slightly musty, mostly empty. The single bed is still made up. She climbs in, and it feels impossibly small, even though it's a veritable ocean of warmth and comfort compared to anything she had back on Jakku.

Jakku seems like a distant memory most days, but right now she can remember, vividly, all of the times she woke up in a pile of her own clothes, heart pounding in her chest, unable to recall what woke her beyond a vague shape, an impression of a feeling. If she was alone, then she knew it was a nightmare and would try to will herself back to sleep, with middling results. But if there was someone (or something) else with her, then she would react as she had reacted tonight: defensively.

Alone doesn't mean safe anymore, though, and she's actually been starting to enjoy sleeping with (in both the literal and euphemistic senses) her loyal, brilliant Finn and her kind, brave Poe. She knows they feel protective of her, even if she doesn't need to be protected, so smacking Finn and worrying Poe must make her seem ungrateful. She tries, desperately, not to think about it.

She closes her eyes and it's several minutes before she can slow herself down enough to let the Force in, but when she does, it lulls her to sleep.

\--

The first thing Finn does when he sees Rey the next morning is spread his arms wide for a hug. She still feels unsteady, but graciously accepts. Poe takes one of her hands in both of his, behind Finn's back. 

"I'm so sorry," she says into Finn's shoulder.

"I know," he says back, and Poe squeezes her hand, just a little.

\--

She returns to their shared bed that night, and the next, and the next after that. Things are mostly back to normal, and there hasn't been another nightmare. She has, however, allowed the boys to be a little extra supportive: Finn sets out clothes for her in the morning; Poe makes sure she eats regularly. It doesn't necessarily feel _good_ to lean on them like this, but it does make her feel _loved_ , which is something else she's getting used to.

On the fourth day, she spends more time than she intends on her saber practice, and by the time she's bathed and returned to their quarters, the two of them are already in bed: Finn on his back with his hands folded across his chest, Poe curled up and dozing off at his side, both shirtless as usual. She enters the room, and Finn lifts his head and smiles.

"Hey," he says, and taps Poe with the back of his hand.

"Hgn?" Poe rolls over and sees her, and his eyes light up. "Oh. Hi."

She is suddenly overcome with affection for them, these lovely and currently-rumpled men that are with her even though she's not entirely sure she deserves it. A Jedi Master would scold her for the burst of emotions, but there's no Jedi Master here, so she pushes aside her anxieties and insecurities, and wriggles herself in between them. They envelop her in their arms like a gentle, sleepy sandstorm, and then she kisses Poe.

Poe is a bit surprised--it's been a few days since they did anything like this--but his hand coming up to her cheek means that he certainly doesn't object, so she kisses him again with more intensity. Finn's hands find their way to her shoulders, and he starts peppering kisses across the nape of her neck. She pulls away from Poe and moves into a seated position. They follow her, both now fully awake and eager. She grins.

She turns back and kisses Finn, who reciprocates quickly and then starts working her robes off of her shoulders. Poe straddles her thighs and helps her out of her undershirt, then briefly nuzzles his face between her now-bare breasts before kissing and nipping his way downwards. Finn is running his hands up and down her arms, his rough palms making her skin tingle. Poe settles between her thighs, and looks up at her, expectantly. She nods, and he nuzzles her again before hooking his fingers under her waistband and tugging down.

Finn kisses her again, one hand cupping her breast, fingers gently playing with her nipple. She holds his chin in one hand, and a fistful of Poe's hair in the other, pulling them both closer to her. Poe inhales sharply, and then his mouth is on her, too, his tongue and teeth and lips moving in delightfully practiced ways. She gasps into Finn's mouth after a particularly delightful swipe, fingers tightening in Poe's hair, a warm and heavy arousal building in her core. Poe pulls off her with an obscene noise, and she feels a bit cheated for a moment, but then he starts kissing his way up one thigh to her hip, and Finn-- _oh_. Finn starts moving in the opposite direction. They meet near her elbow, with a messy kiss and a small groan out of Finn. When they break apart, they navigate around each other more gracefully than she expects them to, and then they've swapped places.

Poe's face is flushed, lips glistening, and he tastes salty when she turns and kisses him, steadying herself by gripping his shoulder tightly. One of Finn's hands rests on her thigh, and the other joins his tongue and lips. He is a bit rougher than Poe, more urgent and focused, but his mouth feels just as good. Poe has moved behind her, setting one knee on either side of her hips, cupping her breasts and suckling at her neck. She digs her fingers into one of his thighs, her other hand resting on the back of Finn's head. She is nearly overwhelmed with sensation, head thrown back against Poe's shoulder, when her hips start twitching. Finn recognizes his cue, and lets his fingers do the rest of the work, mouth moving to one of her thighs and then the other, then a series of tiny pecks across her stomach, and finally the hollow of her collarbone. She arches into his hand, and Poe whispers _we've got you_ into her ear as she comes.

There's an aftershock, and then another, and they hold her between them until she stills, and then Finn moves so that his knees are touching Poe's, his thighs resting on Rey's. He puts one still-damp finger under Poe's chin and kisses him, and then kisses Rey, and then Poe kisses her too.

She feels a bit like a pile of spare parts, reassembling herself and coming to her senses slowly. Her vision comes back into focus just as Finn starts grinning at her, wide and happy. Poe is still holding her, arms loose but strong around her ribcage, chin resting on her shoulder. She inhales, remembering that the two of them are still there, and are probably expecting her to return the favor. She's not entirely sure she's up for it but she still offers.

"No, 'salright," Finn responds, sweeping a sweaty lock of hair away from her cheek and tucking it behind her ear.

"But I--" she starts to protest, but is thankful to be interrupted.

"You don't owe us anything," Poe says, softly.

Finn takes both her hands in his own, and nods at her. "Okay?"

She nods back, sighs, and then leans her cheek up against Poe. "Okay."

Finn rises up on his knees and kisses Rey on the forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up," he says, and then kisses Poe's forehead too. Poe disentangles himself from Rey's body, and helps her swing her legs around so she can stand up. Poe strips the bed and remakes it while Finn cleans her up and helps her back into her sleeping clothes, and soon they're all back in the bed, warm and soft and slightly tangled. Poe is snoring quietly within minutes, and Finn follows close behind. Rey, nestled comfortably between them, lays awake for a bit longer, but eventually joins them.

\--

_She's running, this time. She's not sure what she's running from, but her heart is pounding in her ears, legs aching, arms pumping. She can't seem to catch her breath, and the path in front of her goes on forever. There's a noise behind her, like machinery, like metal crunching, and she runs until--_

Rey sits up in bed, panting, her eyes flying open to near-darkness. There's someone next to her and her first instinct is to strike and run, but then her mind stills for a moment and the Force catches up with her. She hears rustling next to her and she reaches backwards, fingers splayed. She touches an elbow, and follows it down until she finds a hand, and links hers with it. 

_Finn_ , she says in her head as his fingers tighten around her own.

Another body on the other side of her, this one she can feel turning towards her. _Poe_ , she thinks, and finds his hand as well.

"We're here," Finn says, softly. Poe rubs his thumb up and down the length of her own.

"I know," she says. She takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly, then squeezes both of their hands. "I know."

**Author's Note:**

> {Come say hi on [Tumblr](https://dreamsincolor.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/fits_in_frames)!}


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